“WAIT… They BOTH Had the Baby?! 🤯 (How This Actually Works)”

If a sperm donor is involved… does that mean he’s technically the father? This episode dives into the real truth behind donor conception, biology vs parenting, and what truly defines a parent in today’s world. This is the conversation people are thinking—but not saying.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

What up, what up You know what it is, you know how we get down, chilling in the party with hoodie rats around. Could it be they love the way we talk, the way we move, the way we walk, or the way we grew, whatever it is. What up, what up, what up and they can't get enough of it.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Alright, I saw something that made me stop scrolling and just sit there like hold up. How does that actually work, bro? You know, I'm looking at this couple, two women, happy, excited, announcing they're having a baby boy, planning the baby shower, the whole thing, the whole works, and I'm genuinely happy for them. But at the same time, I'm like, Okay, biologically, what's going on here, bro? You know, because I know I'm not the only one who wonders that when you see something like that. So today, we're talking about it. No judgment, just real understanding. Oh man, if you joined us today, thanks for joining us, guys. What's good everybody? Welcome back to Mike Manifestations Podcast. I'm your host, Ben, and this is the place where we keep it real. Ask the questions people are thinking, but don't always say it, or don't always want to talk about it, and we grow through conversations. So, right now we're sitting at 636 subscribers, right now, guys. So if you've been rocking with the podcast, hit that subscribe button. We're on the road to a thousand, and I appreciate every single one of you that have subscribed, have watched, have followed me on social medias, you know, wherever the platform is available. Um, so with that, guys, yeah. So I'm scrolling, right? And I see this announcement: two women smiling, celebrating, talking about their baby boy, planning the baby shower, and again, nothing negative, you know, it was curiosity, and I was thinking I was thinking to myself too, you know, because growing up, we were taught one version of how this works, right? So when you see something different, your brain naturally tries to make sense of it, you know. And it's and instead of just assuming, I wanted to understand it. You know, like I said, it's real talk here. We break it down. You know, simple, real talk. So here's what I found, and I'm gonna keep this simple, you know, because there's a few ways this can happen. Most common is a sperm donor. You know, that means donor sperm is used so one partner can get pregnant, but here's the part that really made me pause. There's something called reciprocal IVF, and this is where it gets interesting. Because one partner provides the egg, that egg gets fertilized, and the other partner carries the baby for nine months. So now you've got one person who is the genetic parent, and the other who is the one physically carrying the baby. And when people say we both are part of this baby, that's usually what they mean. Not both uh genetically, but both involved in creating that life in different ways, you know. Does that make sense? Let me know if I've lost you already, but so the crew the real question that hit me, you know, um, you know, but here's where my mind went next. And like I said, I'm just being real, you know, if there's a sperm donor donor involved, isn't that technically like one of them and the donor had a baby together? Just without the physical relationship, and I sat on that for a second because you know, biologically, yeah, you know, that donor did contribute to creating the child, that part is real, you know, so yeah, so with that, you know, but the the difference that changes everything, you know, this is where it gets interesting, but here's where it's not the same, here's where it's not the same, you know, that donor isn't in the relationship, that donor isn't showing up to doctor appointments, they're not at the baby shower, they're not working, or they're not waking up at 3 and 3 a.m. when the baby starts crying, right? They contributed DNA, but they're not part of the life of that baby, and that's a huge difference because now we're not just talking about biology, by biology, anyways, we're talking about intention, you know, and I guess that's where that whole phrase comes when you got deadbeat dads or parents or whatever that are this just a sperm donor, you know. Uh it's crazy, but we're talking about who's choosing to be there, it's going down tonight. I'm already busy named, you know, what really makes a parent, you know, it's not about just donating your sperm or or contributing that sperm that makes you a parent, you know, and this is where it gets deeper. Because now the real question becomes what actually makes someone apparent? Is it DNA? Or is it presence? Because a lot of people say, hey, he just that's uh he's just a sperm donor, they don't know the dad, they don't know who the parent is, and stuff like that. You know, because let's be honest, there are people out there, like I said, who are biological parents and don't show up though, and there are people who have zero biological connection, but are everything to that child, you know, so when I look at it like that, I start to see it differently. You know, it's not just about who made the baby, you know, it's about who's raising the baby. You know, because I was it was I don't know, it was going crazy, dog. I was going crazy thinking about it. It's like, well, shoot, man. You know, I don't know, it's just like I said, anyways, with that, guys. You know, with that, you send the truth, guys. I hold the mic. This one hit right on topic. You know, a listener wrote in and said, Hey, I'm in a relationship where we've talked about having a child, but I'm scared. Because I I wouldn't be the biological parent. I feel like I might not connect the same, and I don't know if that makes me a bad person, or not. But like I said, first off, that doesn't make you a bad person. Okay that makes you honest, just having a little bit of fun, the parties jumped because we've all been conditioned to believe that biology biology equals bond, but connection that's something that's built over time. You know, doesn't happen overnight, you know, you might feel different at one point, and so forth. If you're stepping into a role where you might not be the biological parent, you know, ask yourself this. Are you willing to show up? Are you willing to love, guide, protect, and be present? Because if the answer is yes, that child is going to feel that. And that matters more than anything else. You know, it's what that child's feeling, you know, it's crazy. But yeah, you need to be present and you need to make that decision. So if someone contributes DNA but isn't in the child's life, are they a parent? Or is a parent the person who shows up every day? Yeah, to me, I would I wouldn't think that's a parent, man. You you know, you gotta be present, you know. Um with that, guys. You know, the uh this episode is brought to you by Kane 3D Studio. If you're into 3D prints, custom designs, unique pieces, you won't some you won't find anywhere else. Check out the Yetsi page. Link is in the description. Mother's Day is coming up, you can get something printed out nice for your mother, customized, you know, anything you'd like. They do it all. And if you got a smart business or a small business, I mean, and you want to be featured on the podcast, sends send your information in. You might hear your brand right here next on Mike Manifestations podcast. Yep, yep, yep. But yeah, guys, what started as a simple question turned into something deeper. Because it's not just about understanding how it works, it's about understanding people, understanding choices, choices that you have in your life, understanding that families today don't all look the same, bro. Right, but that doesn't make them any less real or any less different, you know. Love is love, you know, they got that love for that child. They chose to do that for the love of a child. So if this episode made you think, hit that like button, hit that subscribe button, hit that subscribe to the channel, and share it with someone who's probably wondering the same thing that I was, and and a lot of people are that don't like to talk about it, or just point fingers and say, Wow, look at them. What why you know collaborating, but like I said, we keep it real, bro. We don't sugarcoat anything, we talk about anything and everything. With that, guys, take care of yourselves, keep the conversation real, keep becoming a better version of yourself, and as always, guys, stay human. Catch you guys on the next episode, baby. Thanks for tuning in. Love you guys, have a good one. Mike manifestations, we out, baby.