I FAILED HIM?!

“My son just got arrested… and he’s looking at 5 years in prison.”

Robert wrote in after his son was charged with armed burglary—and now he’s asking the question a lot of parents fear:

Did I fail as a father?

After a divorce and only seeing his son on weekends, he’s questioning everything—and wondering if he could have done more… or if sometimes, you can only do so much.

This episode breaks down parenting, guilt, responsibility, and the reality of raising kids in today’s world.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

I wasn't even there every day. Me and his mom got divorced. I saw him on weekends when I could. Now I'm sitting here asking myself, did I fail him? We're getting into it, baby. What up, what up, what up? What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to Mike Manifestations Podcast. We're at 666 subscribers as of today, guys. And I appreciate every single one of you that keeps showing love and growing with the podcast, baby. Yup, yup, yup. Thank you. If you haven't already, make sure you like, subscribe, and share. We're on the road to a thousand. This is a podcast where real people bring real situations. And we talk about it with no filter. The real stuff. We don't sugarcoat a goddamn thing up in this motherfucker. And today this one is this one hits a little bit different. Like I said, if you're tuning in, I appreciate you. Thanks for tuning in, guys. You send the truth in. I hold the mic. Anonymous stories. Real talk. No judgment. Hey, we just honest. We tell it like it is. If you guys have been following me since day one, you guys know we don't sugarcoat a dang thing up in this podcast. Anyways, so with that, guys, Robert writes in. He says, Hey Ben. He says, My son just got arrested for armed burglary. And from what I'm hearing, he's probably going to be doing around five to ten years in prison. Me and his mom got divorced years ago. And I would have seen, and I would see him on the weekends when I could. But now I'm sitting here wondering where it went wrong. Man, that's crazy. He says, I feel the I feel like I failed as a parent. And honestly, I feel like maybe I could have done more. But at the same time, I feel like you can only do so much. Am I wrong for feeling this way or what? You know what was that saying? You can drive, you can you can draw a horse to to the river, to water. Can't force him a drink. I don't know, whatever the saying is, you guys know it. Anyways, Robert, this is real life, bro. Divorce changes everything. You know, with that, you know, time gets split, influence gets split, consistency gets harder, you know, that same guidance and and direction that you were trying to give your son at that time when you guys were together, where you were with him on a daily basis. All that changes, bro. Everything is split now. You know, you gotta, you know, it's different, different, different thoughts, different uh, you know, direction. When you're only seeing your son on weekends, you know, you're trying to you're trying to fit full-time father, fatherhood, you know, impacting your part-time moments that you have with your son, and that's tough. You know, going from you know, seeing him on the weekends, if if even that sometimes, you know, because you you know, once kids hit that 18, you know, they got a busy life, they're doing stuff, they're trying to do stuff, you know, and hopefully, you know, you did enough to guide them and and lead them in the right direction. But here's the truth, man. Like I said, you can only show up. You can guide, you can love your children and still not control the choices they make. You know, you can do all you can do, man. But you know, once they get to that certain age, they're gonna do what they want to do regardless. You know, with that, Robert, you know, you didn't fail because your son made a bad decision, you know, and you're not wrong for feeling that way. Obviously, you're gonna feel that way. That's guilt. That, what if feeling that comes from caring, bro? You know, he's your son. You care, you're gonna obviously care, you're gonna care what happens to him. But you said something powerful. You can only do so much, and that right there is real, bro. You know, parenting isn't control, it's influence. You know, you can only influence them so much, you know. You know, especially with the you know, with the split parenting and stuff like that, you don't got that much control, so you you know, you can only influence them to do good and to go, you know, in that right in that right direction. So this isn't the end of your role as a father, though. You know, it's a new phase. Now it's about you know being being there while he's while he goes through this, helping him grow from it, making sure this mistake doesn't define his life because prison can either break someone or wake them the F up. You know what I mean? You know, sometimes it it takes for them to hit a hit a hard rock or a stone or something, a wall, brick wall, you know, for them to start, you know, realizing you know, if your child made a life-changing mistake, or the way we grew up whatever it is, would you blame yourself or accept that you did what you could and still show up for them? Let me know what you guys think in the comments, man. Should you guys feel like Robert does right now, or or should you guys, like I said, be there for them and and you know try to guide them in the in the right direction so this doesn't um affect their lives for the future. So, what's that guys? Uh the this episode is brought to you by Kane 3D Studio. If you're in 3D prints, you need something custom designed or a unique creation. Uh, check out the Etsy shop. Link is in the description. Um, you know, Mother's Day is coming up. They got a couple good ideas here. They have a Bath and Body Works uh soap holder. I don't know if you can guys can see that. Best mom, happy Mother's Day. Has the insert for the soaps. I think it's like three different soaps you guys can use, and then they got another nice addition here. Everything that defines a mom, unconditional, strength, protection, safe place, forever love, selfless. You know that mom is selfless, bro. You know, my everything, your best friend, your lifeline, you know, and for you Kobe fans, new edition, black mama Kobe Bryant, number eight, number 24. Like I said, if you guys are interested in buying, getting one of these, I think they got a sale going on right now. Um, but yeah, like I said, check out Kane3D Studio. Link is in the description. If you got a small business or you're trying to get out there, you want to be featured on this on the uh Mike Manifestations podcast, sending your information. Let's grow together, you know. Uh we'll put your we'll put your business name and information out there. Let me know a little bit about your small business that you're trying to promote. We'll get it out there and get you get you some business. So with that, if this episode hit you guys, make sure you guys like and make sure you guys subscribe, share the podcast. Like I said, we're at 666 subscribers right now. Let's keep pushing towards that 1000, baby. And then beyond that, too, you know, um, it's going down. But yeah, let me know in the comments, guys, what you guys think. Um, should Robert be feeling this way? Um, you know, like I said, I I I think all you can do at this point um is pretty much be there for your son, you know, or your daughter, whoever the whoever this may hit, as far as you know, you guys out there listening. Uh sometimes it's your sometimes it's a loved one, sometimes it's just a friend, sometimes it can be just anyone that that you know that's going through the same situation. Um all you can do is be there, you know. All you can do is try to influence their their um be an influence in their life to guide them in that right direction. Uh once they get older, like I said, they get uh, you know, once they get older, they're like they're too cool to to hang out with dad, with mom, and they're gonna do what they're gonna do, you know. Um and that's that's how life is, guys, you know. Uh some people choose to, you know, kind of veer off that lane, you know, once they once they get that certain age, oh I'm 18, bro. I'm gonna do what I wanna do. F you guys, you know. Um, you know, they start hanging around with the wrong crowd or the wrong people, and you're either that or they're in the uh in a bad in the bad situation, hanging out or you know, like they say sometimes you're in the bad you're there at the wrong time with the wrong people, and you get mixed up all up in it. Um get some of the but it happens, man. You know, not everybody's gonna be on the straight and narrow path, you know. Some people tend to veer off and and they get caught up, you know. Um, but like you said, uh all you can be all you can do is be there for your for them. Uh Robert, like I said, you shouldn't be you shouldn't feel guilty, man. You know, if you're a father, you've been there, you try to guide him, you did the best that you can do, whether they see it or not, whether your ex-wife sees that or not, you know, whether anybody outside of that sees it or not. Who gives a damn? You know? Deep down in your heart, you know what you did, you know what you were able to do. You try to influence him the best that you could, raise him the best you could. And, you know, like I said, it just it's just natural, bro. Everybody's gonna do what they want to do in the long run, uh, whether it affects them, whether it affects anyone else in their life. You know, some some some people just have that mindset. They're gonna do what they want to do. But yeah, uh, like I said, guys, if you guys have anything, uh, any situations going on in your life, make sure you guys hit that, hit that, um, send us send us a send us a lit uh send us an email, a text message, a DM, whatever it is. Uh let us know your situation. Um, and we'll put it here on the uh mic drop confessions. Um anything it is, anything you want to talk about, something that you've seen, something that you've heard, you know, just anything, something that people don't want to talk about, you know, or some people that don't want to hear it. Let me know what it is. Hey, we'll put it on the foot, we'll put it on the podcast, man. I don't give a damn, you know? Whether it's good or bad, hey, it is what it is. But, anyways, guys, with that, I'm gonna leave you with this, you know. Uh, like I said, don't forget to hit that like, hit that subscribe button, guys. We're on the way to on our way to a thousand subscribers. Um with that, guys, take care of yourselves. Keep the conversations real, baby. Keep keep uh becoming a better version of yourself, and most importantly, here on the podcast, guys. Hey, stay human, bro. Stay human. That's what we do, baby. That's what we do. With that, we'll catch you guys on the next one, guys. Mike Metal Stations, baby. We out, baby. Peace. Love you guys.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Oh, my struggle is here to get to some more. I told you once that we ain't gonna stop. I'm gonna take it to the top and let the motherfucker drop. What goes up must come down. When the Tony's drop, man, I'm ready for the